The good thing with it feeling like it happened before my eyes is that it is like a “wake up call”. My little babies are not babies anymore. They are walking, talking little human beings who are out to make an incredible difference on this earth. They were born with great missions and by golly, I want them to be ready for this game called life!

So, a few days ago, I WOKE UP! I thought motherhood had its moments but now I feel like I need to do some serious stretching and get my game face on! I got some serious parenting to do!

Instead of being the referee between their “grab the toy from you”, I will be their coach.
Instead of being the police and putting someone in the corner, I will be their ally and advocate for what works.
I want to empower my kids to be able to handle LIFE. In ALL its challenges and ALL its glory.

The Fair, the Unfair, the Justified and unjustified. The lovers, The haters, The bullies and pushovers.
The opportunist, the willing.

I will also be posting my successes and failures on my 3 month Journey to empowering them!

Let the journey begin!

First Step: I am declaring who I am for my kids.
Second Step: I am declaring who my KIDS are for ME. (Not who they are NOW. But who they are in the future. And this is how I will see them NOW so they can step INTO that and become it for themselves)

Who I am is Inspiration, Love, Presence and Power

Who my son is for me is Confident, Loving, Kind, understood and Happy

Who my daughter is for me is Self-Expressed, gifted healer, gentle and funny

I want you to try new things. Fail if you have to but get back up and try again.

I want you to tell the truth. Be nice about it so you don’t hurt people but speak your truth!

I want you to take a moment and look at all you have in life and truly be grateful for it. It takes a lot of energy from so many people to have the life we do.

I want you to tell people you love them with your words but also have your actions match your words.

I want you to know that it is ok to be scared. We really don’t know what lies ahead but being trusting and having courage and being brave moment by moment, will have you conquer any fear.

I want you to be nice. Speak kind words about people and to them. People in your life are special and they who know you for who you really are. Especially family. They are family forever.

I want you to trust yourself. You are powerful and can do anything you put your mind to.

I want you to be ok with getting dirty and getting wet and getting messy. Life is too short to always have wipes and sanitizer and rags every 5 seconds.
You will live and that is what a bath is for.

I want you to look at your dad and see his strength, power, determination, focus, discipline, dedication, persistence and love and know that he has given that to you too.

I want you to look at my patience, determination, willingness, open heart, compassion for others and know that I have given that to you.

I want you to know that your dad and I gave you a double dose of determination so that means you will be sure to be unstoppable in life!

I want you to know that whatever life hands you, You will be taken care of. You will succeed. You will win. You will be happy.

And again, I want you to know that I love you. Xo

Mommy

Hubby woke up early the next day and started on the kitchen. A couple of hours later, I woke up and got to admire an incredibly shiny stove that had some serious elbow grease applied to it. It looked amazing!
I thought it was a good idea to start the morning off with a protein shake. Our 3.5 year old loves to help. He puts the ice cubes in, the water, dumps the powder. It was all ready to go when I make one fatal decision.

I decided to add a banana

I reached over to grab a banana and my house coat caught the on switch to the lidless vitamix blender (which happened to be flipped on Variable HIGH speed which is like level 100 out of 10). And in .2 seconds flat, the sound of a jet engine turned on and (thank goodness for sleeping in so my reflexes were as sharp as they were), I managed to turn it off quickly.

And what was left before my eyes was a DRENCHED 3.5 year old crying boy, the sounds of the protein shake dripping from the walls, cupboards, my hair and nose. My house coat was soaked, my face was drenched.

I wasn’t worried about my crying 3 year old. I wasn’t worried about the incredible mess that I knew I would have to clean up. I was concerned with how my husband would feel after seeing all his hard work and elbow grease go down the drain with that flick of that switch.

My apology to him was direct, and 100% sincere. What a shame to do all that work and have it disappear in such a short time. I felt so bad for him.

For me, I feel like a seasoned pro in the department of cleaning and then to turn around and have it wiped away by the little ones. It seems like such a heartless and thankless process that never gets acknowledged and admired and appreciated. But I didn’t want my husbands work to have that same feeling. I really did want to preserve the stove and buff it and shine it and care for it to show my appreciation.

But the universe had another lesson in store.

Once my apology was given and received, I was left with the reality of what was so. The house coat caught the blender and it made a mess. What was I to do about it? Clean it up.

And that is what I did. I cleaned it up physically and also cleaned it up with my husband so he knew that I appreciated all he did before then.

We have a clean kitchen once again…and a few more lessons under our belt too.

And once my son was done crying, he joined in the chuckles too.

I could see my sons wheels turning all through Disneyland. Every character was just so big and unpredictable. But often he would get scared but we found the words that made him feel safe.

It’s just a costume. It’s not real.

From Micky Mouse, Goofy and Pluto to the Pirates of the Caribbean and other rides, we would remind him that it was pretend and they were just costumes.

And I could take that advice for myself. When people are being any shade of ego (loud, selfish, demanding, angry, controlling, stubborn, unwilling), I can remind myself that it’s just their costume. Underneath is who they really are. They are also people who seek peace, understanding, love, connection, quiet and support.

So I take these moments we were given today and embrace them with even greater gratitude because we will be able to hug and kiss our little ones after.

And, tomorrow, when chaos, frustrations and challenges occur, I will be even more grateful.

Namaste.

I wasn’t sure how to go about it. Since we don’t actively practice religion and my spiritual path has been my own path and not one I want to enforce on our little one, I found myself in a slight dilemma.
What happens to someone when they die if you take out the conversation of spirit, spirituality, afterlife, etc. And I do not wish to speak about a story or a truth that is absolute since, I myself, am open to so many ideas of what COULD happen and what I WISH would happen.

Feeling this great burden, I choose to say what I know is the truth. Grandpa had died. We won’t be able to see him anymore and listen to him play his drum.
The obvious response was “Why?”
“Grandpa was sick and he needed to not be sick anymore and wished to feel happy and peaceful again and he wanted to see his wife since he has missed her so much”.
His next response was “He’s happy?”
I said “yes”
He then said “Can I have some toast?”

And with that, he was complete.

And I became aware of one thing that COULD happen and WISH that could happen when we die.
That when we die, we are happy.
Rest in Peace, Grandpa. We are happy that you are happy.

I was on auto-pilot when I snapped back into reality and the last words that echoed in my head were “Are you choosing the purple straw or nothing?”

Yes. That is right. I was in full stand-off with my 3-year-old over a straw! A purple one, actually.

It all started when he asked for chocolate milk and a purple straw. He informs me that purple is his favorite. No big deal. Chocolate milk and purple straw it is!
I hand it to him and that is when he melts and says “No! I black straw!”

And I almost melt from it being the LAST STRAW!

Yes. I could just go and get the black straw and all would be well…but would it? For the last 3 years, he has gotten used to life handing him whatever his request is and when life DOESN’T..watch out!
As a parent, I see that life isn’t set up for everyone to get what they want in the moment they want it. We can’t just change our minds every 5 seconds and expect life to just altar for that demand. Hence why we practice patience and persistence.
I would much rather be an advocate of patience and persistence as a virtue than expectation and demand.

So, that is why I was there, in the kitchen, giving my 3-year-old the choice to either accept his first choice. The purple straw.

After a bit of huffing and puffing, he chose the purple straw.

1 point goes to mama (for now)

A few weeks ago I was outside with the kids raking leaves. I was quite tired that particular day and in my head, I was quietly complaining. I was also visualizing just resting and dreaming of a break. The kids were enjoying themselves outside but I also added a bit extra stress with the worries of what mischief they could get into.

And then I heard sounds of raking leaves from over our fence. It was our elderly Neighbor. He was also raking leaves. Piles and piles of leaves.
He is a frail man and just 6 months ago, we learned that he has cancer.

I may be tired. I may complain but in that moment, I was full of gratitude. My children are healthy. My husband and I are healthy. Our family members are healthy. Yes, I am tired but I can get a good nights rest and choose great food and snap out of this pity party for one.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Instead, I am choosing to love the grass I have and work with it and thank my neighbours for the contrast so I can gain perspective on what really matters.

To post or not to post. That is the question…

Just when I think I have life “handled”, it goes and takes a sharp turn in the opposite direction and chaos ensues. And in these moments, I don’t feel like such a “Zen mommy”. My house is a mess, 3-year-old uses the 15 month old as his personally punching bag, not sure I’m the best wife in the world and the list goes on.

I have 2 sides to this coin.
1. I have my own personal “goal” of what zen could look like. What the house could look like. How the kids could be. How I could be in our marriage.

2. I am doing the best I can.

Zen isn’t a place to get to. It’s a place to BE. Moment to moment to moment. And in many moments this past month, I have had less ZEN moments that usual. AND, I have made that to mean that I am FAILING. But what is failure, really?

Failure is not matching up to the standard I wish. I guess my own advice for myself is to “suck it up princess”. Life isn’t ever going to be “handled”. So I may as well enjoy the ride I am on. With the kids I have. The house condition it is in. With the marriage I am creating. And the list that could go on.

Life is too short to be feeling like a failure. So, instead of sulking, I am blogging. I better choice, I would say.

As far as I was concerned (and my calendar was concerned) my 3 year old had a play class at the YMCA for today. My daughter was already booked in at the babysitting. But low and behold, I got the day wrong. Oops.
But it is all so perfect because it just so happens that the gym is set up for free play time for toddlers. And my daughter is safe and playing in the babysitting. And I am sitting at the side lines and enjoying this much needed and granted mid day break.

Ahhhhh

It’s so easy to think of life as right and wrong. Good and bad. But beyond all the judgment is life as it really is. And it is all perfect. All of it.