Zen Mommyhood

Irony or the Universe’s Sense of Humor?

My husband has been home for the past couple days due to weather not being suitable for work. Fun! And we took that opportunity to do some serious Cleaning. Walls, floors, ceiling, under couches, you get the picture. With a 3.5 year old and a 21 month old, you can only imagine what messes we found in hidden places.
Day one was a great success. One full room complete and it looks great.

Hubby woke up early the next day and started on the kitchen. A couple of hours later, I woke up and got to admire an incredibly shiny stove that had some serious elbow grease applied to it. It looked amazing!
I thought it was a good idea to start the morning off with a protein shake. Our 3.5 year old loves to help. He puts the ice cubes in, the water, dumps the powder. It was all ready to go when I make one fatal decision.

I decided to add a banana

I reached over to grab a banana and my house coat caught the on switch to the lidless vitamix blender (which happened to be flipped on Variable HIGH speed which is like level 100 out of 10). And in .2 seconds flat, the sound of a jet engine turned on and (thank goodness for sleeping in so my reflexes were as sharp as they were), I managed to turn it off quickly.

And what was left before my eyes was a DRENCHED 3.5 year old crying boy, the sounds of the protein shake dripping from the walls, cupboards, my hair and nose. My house coat was soaked, my face was drenched.

I wasn’t worried about my crying 3 year old. I wasn’t worried about the incredible mess that I knew I would have to clean up. I was concerned with how my husband would feel after seeing all his hard work and elbow grease go down the drain with that flick of that switch.

My apology to him was direct, and 100% sincere. What a shame to do all that work and have it disappear in such a short time. I felt so bad for him.

For me, I feel like a seasoned pro in the department of cleaning and then to turn around and have it wiped away by the little ones. It seems like such a heartless and thankless process that never gets acknowledged and admired and appreciated. But I didn’t want my husbands work to have that same feeling. I really did want to preserve the stove and buff it and shine it and care for it to show my appreciation.

But the universe had another lesson in store.

Once my apology was given and received, I was left with the reality of what was so. The house coat caught the blender and it made a mess. What was I to do about it? Clean it up.

And that is what I did. I cleaned it up physically and also cleaned it up with my husband so he knew that I appreciated all he did before then.

We have a clean kitchen once again…and a few more lessons under our belt too.

And once my son was done crying, he joined in the chuckles too.

Unveiling the Costume to see the Truth

We took our little ones to Disneyland and being that our oldest is 3.5, I was curious to see how he would respond to all the characters. Knowing that they would be bigger than himself, it could be too much. Luckily, our first character was loveable Minnie Mouse. At first glance, he was hesitant. We sent in his 4.5 year old cousin who welcomed Minnie with open arms. Once he saw that Minnie Mouse was ok, he followed in her foot steps.

I could see my sons wheels turning all through Disneyland. Every character was just so big and unpredictable. But often he would get scared but we found the words that made him feel safe.

It’s just a costume. It’s not real.

From Micky Mouse, Goofy and Pluto to the Pirates of the Caribbean and other rides, we would remind him that it was pretend and they were just costumes.

And I could take that advice for myself. When people are being any shade of ego (loud, selfish, demanding, angry, controlling, stubborn, unwilling), I can remind myself that it’s just their costume. Underneath is who they really are. They are also people who seek peace, understanding, love, connection, quiet and support.

A pint and Perspective

My husband and I had the day to ourselves. My mom graciously took our 3 year old and 1 year old.
What can I say. I love our little ones but having a day to ourselves is heavenly.
What I noticed was the contrast of being childless for the day.
We were in Target and I saw a mom of 4 who was DONE! The kids were outta control there was no patience around for miles. I took a moment of gratitude for the peace I had for myself.
In the parking lot, I glanced over to see her slam the door on one of her children’s legs that wasn’t in the car fast enough. I sent some patience her way and wished her well silently.
Our next stop was Applebee’s. A pint, appetizers and a side of a humanity.
Our waitress informed us that they were collecting donations for their cook who’s 2 year old unexpectedly passed away last night. Everyone was in shock and we were choked up.
It put things in perspective. I wish for MOMENTS of peace and being away from our little ones and couldn’t even imagine never again being in the chaos, frustration and challenges that our two little ones bring with them and the sheer reason why we welcome the break when we are given it.

So I take these moments we were given today and embrace them with even greater gratitude because we will be able to hug and kiss our little ones after.

And, tomorrow, when chaos, frustrations and challenges occur, I will be even more grateful.

Namaste.

The Purple Straw

I was on auto-pilot when I snapped back into reality and the last words that echoed in my head were “Are you choosing the purple straw or nothing?”

Yes. That is right. I was in full stand-off with my 3-year-old over a straw! A purple one, actually.

It all started when he asked for chocolate milk and a purple straw. He informs me that purple is his favorite. No big deal. Chocolate milk and purple straw it is!
I hand it to him and that is when he melts and says “No! I black straw!”

And I almost melt from it being the LAST STRAW!

Yes. I could just go and get the black straw and all would be well…but would it? For the last 3 years, he has gotten used to life handing him whatever his request is and when life DOESN’T..watch out!
As a parent, I see that life isn’t set up for everyone to get what they want in the moment they want it. We can’t just change our minds every 5 seconds and expect life to just altar for that demand. Hence why we practice patience and persistence.
I would much rather be an advocate of patience and persistence as a virtue than expectation and demand.

So, that is why I was there, in the kitchen, giving my 3-year-old the choice to either accept his first choice. The purple straw.

After a bit of huffing and puffing, he chose the purple straw.

1 point goes to mama (for now)

A Happy Tired

A few weeks ago I was outside with the kids raking leaves. I was quite tired that particular day and in my head, I was quietly complaining. I was also visualizing just resting and dreaming of a break. The kids were enjoying themselves outside but I also added a bit extra stress with the worries of what mischief they could get into.

And then I heard sounds of raking leaves from over our fence. It was our elderly Neighbor. He was also raking leaves. Piles and piles of leaves.
He is a frail man and just 6 months ago, we learned that he has cancer.

I may be tired. I may complain but in that moment, I was full of gratitude. My children are healthy. My husband and I are healthy. Our family members are healthy. Yes, I am tired but I can get a good nights rest and choose great food and snap out of this pity party for one.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Instead, I am choosing to love the grass I have and work with it and thank my neighbours for the contrast so I can gain perspective on what really matters.

A Perfect Mistake

As far as I was concerned (and my calendar was concerned) my 3 year old had a play class at the YMCA for today. My daughter was already booked in at the babysitting. But low and behold, I got the day wrong. Oops.
But it is all so perfect because it just so happens that the gym is set up for free play time for toddlers. And my daughter is safe and playing in the babysitting. And I am sitting at the side lines and enjoying this much needed and granted mid day break.

Ahhhhh

It’s so easy to think of life as right and wrong. Good and bad. But beyond all the judgment is life as it really is. And it is all perfect. All of it.